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In 1991 Billy and Akaisha Kaderli retired at the age of 38. Now, into their 3rd decade of this financially independent lifestyle, they invite you to take advantage of their wisdom and experience.

Traveling for the First Time with Your New Lover

Billy and Akaisha Kaderli

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Traveling is different than a two-week vacation in a beach resort. Visiting unique countries and landscapes with many unknown factors can be challenging - even in the best of times.  

Now add in your new significant other, with travel uncertainties and requirements. With no guarantees about what comes next, you have a recipe for a relationship disaster before it really began.

Skyline to the Sea Trail, showing topography. Santa Cruz, California

Skyline to the Sea Trail, showing topography, Santa Cruz Mountains

When you first met, how did that initial trip go?

We were still getting to know each other when we decided to go on a fifty-mile hike in the mountains. This was the famous Skyline to the Sea Trail in the Santa Cruz Mountains on the rugged California Pacific Coast.

It was six days and five nights with "you carry it in, you carry it out" type of hiking. Everything we needed went into our heavy backpacks. We had a leaky, old, two-man tent, cooking gear and gas stove cylinders, plus food, clothes, First-Aid kit and more. Water was available only periodically at marked stations throughout this journey.

Loving nature and having time to reflect

Sure, we both loved nature and trekking through the forest was a “close to the bone” experience we enjoyed. But, underlying all of this adventure, we really wanted to see what kind of grit the other had.

Would either of us be a whiner? How would we handle it if it rained? Who was going to break first? Would we get along for 24/6 fully uninterrupted hours together with no distractions?

Skyline to the Sea Trail, Castle Rock Route, Santa Cruz, California

We tramped up the hill on one side of the mountain then down the other side with continuous ocean views keeping us mesmerized. The beauty was staggering and the blisters on our heals were burning. Moleskin was our savior to get us through to another day.

This was back in the 1970’s long before modern, lightweight, efficient camping and hiking gear were available.

Warm days and cool nights with only each other, our own thoughts and the peace of the wilderness. We never saw another person on the trail. No one! Forget about cell phones, selfies, social media, streamed netflix or other diversions, they were not invented yet. It was quiet with only the sounds of the rushing creek below.

We needed to cover 10 miles a day in rough terrain. Working together forced us to meld, learning more about each other’s strengths and weaknesses by the mile.

Can food be an issue between new couples?

In order to kick off our adventure I carried a frozen chicken to act as a cooler for the bottle of Louis Jadot - Pouilly Fuisse for our first evening’s meal. Being a French Chef, I find cooking with mess kits to be a challenge but there was no way I was going to complain this early into the trip. Armed with a buck knife, every part of that chicken was used as I made stock with the bones for soup later, and utilized the wine bottle to carry the stock for the next day's meal. And... I carried the empty bottle out so as to not leave trash on the trail.

Akaisha, meanwhile, was vegetarian - something I neglected to consider fully. An experienced hiker, she was used to trail mix, dried fruit and cans of beans. Water and powdered electrolytes were her familiar style.

But fortunately for me, Akaisha is adaptable and a team player. Wine and Cajun seasoned open-pit grilled chicken were served? Wine and chicken she ate.

We slept well that first night.

Even with differences we found cooperation

I was far better at the uphill climbs, something Akaisha struggled with. On the other hand, she easily flew past me on the downhill slopes while my knees barked at me of abuse with the pounding of an overweight pack onto them at every step.

When my knees swelled at night, she massaged them and wrapped them in Ace bandages.

Still traveling together, 4 decades later!

Significant take-aways

I don’t recall us having any arguments. It seemed we easily slipped into a “one hand helps the other” style. I watered her and she watered me so that we could both grow. This has been an approach that has worked for us throughout our partnership for over four decades.

Under the circumstances of hiking together, without the option of any escape, dependent on each other and without manufactured amusements, we saw deeply into each other.

Yes, there were contrasts, but there were also creative additions.

We survived the physical schedule of ten miles of hiking each day. With what could have been awkward long stretches of no conversation, we breathed in and breathed out. All along this trip, the natural pressure of being tired, hungry and sore, we persevered, got stronger and came through it.

Traveling together in such a manner laid the bedrock in our foundation for building a stronger relationship.

It was shortly after this hike that we went to Europe for six months with the same shitty tent and gear, came back to California and purchased a restaurant of our own in 1979. A mere twelve years later, we retired from our careers and began our journey of financial independence to travel the world.

And the rest is history!

We are Retire Lifestyle Mentors. Our goal is to help you achieve your retirement dreams.

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About the Authors

 
Billy and Akaisha Kaderli are recognized retirement experts and internationally published authors on topics of finance, medical tourism and world travel. With the wealth of information they share on their award winning website RetireEarlyLifestyle.com, they have been helping people achieve their own retirement dreams since 1991. They wrote the popular books, The Adventurer’s Guide to Early Retirement and Your Retirement Dream IS Possible available on their website bookstore or on Amazon.com.

contact Billy and Akaisha at theguide@retireearlylifestyle.com

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