Preparing for Retirement; Overwhelmed by it all

Q&A with a Reader

Hello Billy and Akaisha,

You guys are no doubt inspiration that most people seek. My husband and I are no different. I was hoping you could help us with some advice on how to go about doing what you’ve done so successfully a long time ago.

Some insight into where we are right now. My husband just turned 68 years old and is still full time employed. I am 18 years younger and full time employed as well. Neither one of us makes great deal of money. Our current expenses are high (living in NYC area) and we’re forced to dip into our 401K pretty much continuously to maintain our lifestyle. I know this is not sustainable.

I also wish to be able to have my husband finally retire…

I obviously have no means to go and check every single retirement destination I might think will suit our needs, so how do I decide then?

Tropical food is scrumptious!

Tropical food is scrumptious!

The Caribbean is logical destination for many expats from this country for obvious reasons BUT for me not so much because food is great part of both of our lives and I need to be where I can get the kind of food I enjoy the most. Europe springs to mind but again, France or Italy would be a yeeeessss…food wise but I know due to the exchange rate and simply cost of living that we couldn’t get best bang for our buck there.

However, I might be looking at this whole thing wrong and not understanding the what’s and how’s that retirement entails.

Please help?

Regards,

Tanya

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Hi Tanya,

Thank you for your patience in waiting for my reply.

I would first recommend that you take a look at our article, How to Choose a Retirement Location.

It’s really important that you and your husband list what your priorities are for your future lifestyle. Being foodies ourselves, we understand the desire to have access to a variety of different cuisines, and fresh fruits, vegetables, seafood and meats. Make sure you agree on things like climate, social activities available to keep you engaged (even the ability to possibly volunteer) – garden clubs, bridge clubs, theater, animal rescue, golf, hiking, nature – whatever interests you. Know what size of city, town or community that appeals to you. And very significantly, have you ever lived overseas before? It might sound fantastic on paper, but cultural differences can be a bone of contention to some people. Some cultures are efficient, and some are more lackadaisical when it comes to getting plumbing done, or getting paperwork processed and so on. No matter where you choose to live, it won’t be “just like home.”

Mexico architecture reflects the Spanish conquistadors

Mexico architecture reflects the Spanish conquistadors

Do you know another language, or are you willing to learn at least at a passable level?

You might consider other options besides moving – options such as snow birding, house swapping, house sitting or setting up a portion of your home to rent out with organizations such as Airbnb.

After you have your list of priorities you can begin to look for a location to fit those desires.

Gorgeous Lake Atitlan in Guatemala

Gorgeous Lake Atitlan in Guatemala

Take a look at our Relocation Page – there are lots of forums where you could have conversations with expats who are currently living in various foreign locations to give you an idea if this place or that place might work for you.

If you already have foreign experience, countries such as Mexico, Guatemala, Thailand, Panama and Ecuador have very good cost of living, and you might find that you can live very comfortably on $2,000 or $3,000 per month, or even less.

Take a look at our Annual Spending Update to give you an idea of how we manage. Just to be clear, we have chosen not to own a home in retirement, but rather rent apartments, or house sit, or rent a hotel suite for months at a time. We do not own a vehicle and prefer to use local transport or hire a driver. We also utilize local health care as well, saving us lots of money per year in health insurance premiums.

You have lots of options if you are open to them.

I hope the above information gets you started on your relocation journey. Please feel free to write back if you have more questions, or if you would like to discuss a topic more fully.

Wishing you and your husband all the best in your upcoming retirement.

Best Regards,

Akaisha

Ecuador native culture is fascinating

Ecuador native culture is fascinating

 

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Travel Sickness? Try Motioneaze

I have suffered from motion sickness since I was a child. Though loving to take adventures, traveling in a car, bus, boat or plane always produced that uncomfortable feeling of queasiness, until it was so predictable I simply took a seasickness pill before I ventured out.

For a world traveler, this is a particularly prickly nuisance, since our lifestyle is built on motion. Flying to far-flung countries, taking wooden-masted sailing cruises, riding through rolling mountainous roads, even white water rafting, boogie boarding or body surfing, I lived on those dang seasickness pills. Even with their noticeable side effects it was a better option than the alternative.

Then, for this reason and that, I could no longer take those pills. To say a mild panic took over is being polite. Fleetingly, I imagined my lifestyle changing from one of fairly continuous motion to staying put in one location. This was it. It finally happened; we would be settling down.

I tried to keep my mind open to the possibilities I could use instead, such as ginger candy, powdered ginger capsules, or seasickness acupressure bands. I was discouraged.

Then one evening, during a chance meeting in a restaurant, a friend and fellow world traveler, Lori Grant from Freetirement placed into my hand a small bottle of Motioneaze. She promised that it would work on my motion sickness and that I would be pleased with the results. I was 100% skeptical, and while I thanked her for her kindness and generosity, the rest of what I said was probably pretty whiny.

“No, really,” she said. “It works for me and I’m really bad.”

I whined some more but said I would try it out. I thanked her again and wondered how a little bit of this liquid of natural ingredients at the base of my ears could possibly work.

My first opportunity to give it a whirl was a few days later on a 10 minute chicken bus ride from Panajachel, Guatemala to Solola, the larger town up a very winding hill. One time previously I went pill-free up this hill, only to suffer the consequences, turning green and grasping around for an airsickness bag. Even after arriving, I was sick for 30 minutes until it subsided.

Since then, I have never taken this simple ride without nausea pills.

I want to tell you that this was a big deal for me.

In the interest of the experiment, I tried a little oil behind both of my ears, and with trepidation, boarded the bus. I found myself leaning into curve after curve and feeling… normal. How could this be? On the ride back it was the same feeling of freedom, of being able to enjoy the ride without fear of tossing my breakfast.

The next test was a 25 minute boat ride across Lake Atitlan to San Pedro. I’m telling you I would never, ever attempt this trip without the aid of my chemical pills. Again, drops at the base of my ears and not a hint of nausea.

I graduated to 3 hour shuttle trips to Guatemala City and 10 hour travel days on airplane after airplane and the same feeling of blessed balance was achieved.

Lori knows how grateful I am for this out-of-nowhere, right-into-the-palm-of-my-hand gift she gave me. It’s been life changing for someone like me.

I’m sharing my experience with you in case you also suffer from motion sickness, or have a child or loved one who does. If you would like to travel without chemical aid, try this product out.

You can click on the link below – it’s an affiliate link to Amazon for a small bottle to try it out. If that bothers you in any way, no worries, you can purchase Motioneaze online, at your favorite pharmacy or in Wal*Mart. It’s completely natural, works within 5 minutes, even after symptoms have started, and there is no drowsiness. Can be used by both children and adults.

 

Prices range all over the map depending on the size of the bottle and how many you purchase, so shop wisely. And enjoy your motion-filled life symptom free!

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Financial Advice for a Reader

Q&A with a Reader

Hello Billy and Akaisha,

I just happened to listen to your interview on the World Wanderers podcast and really enjoyed hearing your perspective on early retirement and the travel lifestyle. My wife and I recently quit our jobs to test the concept ourselves. We are currently in Malaysia and are loving things so far.

Both my wife and I are in our early-mid 40’s. We both worked in software and have already had experience living abroad. We have lived/worked outside the US for over 7 years now and enjoy our nomadic lifestyle.

Even before I had heard the term Financial Independence (I only learned of Mr Money Mustache 4 months ago), I had always been careful with my finances. Never had debt. Purchased everything with cash. Saved as much as possible. However, I believe that my biggest failure was never really understanding the world of investment and, more to point, being downright afraid of it. We have our money in many different vehicles but we had never really optimized them so that we could live off them one day. So that we could dip into them while continuing to earn.

After listening to your plea on the podcast to learn how to invest, I was wondering if you would be interested in providing a financial review to help shape our savings into a portfolio that was similar to your approach. We already have some passive income from a condo that we rent, but I want to learn how to make our other investments cover our remaining expense needs while continuing to earn interest.

Have you ever conducted a paid consultation to help guide others in understanding your approaches to successful financial independence? Would you be willing to do so?

Thanks a lot,

Marc

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Hi Marc,

Thanks for taking the time to write and we are happy you enjoyed the podcast.

In a nut shell we explain our investment approach in our books, The Adventurer’s Guide to Early Retirement and The Possible Dream.

That said, you must be doing something right or you would not be where you are today financially. I commend you on your success.

We have always used the equity markets to create a money machine. Meaning that…rough numbers…our portfolio increases 10%…we live on 4% or less and reinvest the other 6% to cover inflation and added growth. We have been investors for many years including before we retired so we are not afraid of the markets. Sure there have been times when we have been tested, but cooler heads prevailed.

I suggest that if you want to go this route it doesn’t have to be all or nothing. Being 40 you have many years ahead of you and time is on your side. This is your greatest asset. Also at your age I would suggest something like a 60% stocks 40% fixed income…perhaps including your rental in that equation. But at the levels we are currently at in the market, I would suggest moving money into the markets over numerous months.

We have a lot of information on our site regarding our investment plan. Being 63 we are a little more conservative than I would suggest for you but only you know your risk tolerance.

I don’t really do consultations but am willing to help any way I can. If it works for you, that is my reward.

Feel free to write if you have more questions.

Regards,

Billy

 

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Anointing Oil and Mothers- Gaining Fulfillment through these Valuable Resources

Sheena Jones is a co-founder of two local companies and specializes in research as well as writing articles that cover a variety of lifestyle-based topics. She writes regularly for online publications. Learn more about Jerusalem anointing oil here.

The Old Testament provides an account of how God ordained the oil for the purpose of blessing His people. Believers in the new covenant use the anointing oil in different areas of their lives. Understanding how you can use the oil can give you access to divine provisions, peace of mind and a prosperous life. The oil is mentioned several times in the Bible, through which grace can be received.

Holy Anointing Oil

  • It is written that it is by grace that people receive their blessings, not through their efforts or accomplishments. You can find the way back to wholeness and blessings through the divine influence of the oil that is derived from olive fruit.
  • The fruit and seed are both crushed in order for the oil to be retrieved. The olive press facilitates the crushing motion that results in the production of olive oil that is widely used for healing around the world.
  • More and more people continue to become aware of the significance of the holy oil that is used for anointing. People do their part in the natural realm while God fulfils His word in the spiritual or supernatural realm.

Anointing Oil.

Ordained by the Lord 

Anointing oil is ordained by God and is a prominent feature among Biblical teachings. In the early founding years of the church, people frequently applied anointing oil on the sick. Elders visited ailing individuals, anointed them with oil and proclaimed the Lord’s name as they prayed.

This practice is based on faith and when you gain insight into such a Biblical subject, your faith is strengthened. Fresh Jerusalem anointing oil is always recommended and people are encouraged to replenish their supply of oil that symbolizes the covenant.

Oil and Prayer

After praying over olive oil, it becomes anointing oil that is sacred and holy. Holy refers to the process of setting an entity apart to do God’s will. Your oil can be prayed over and consecrated by your local pastor or spiritual leader. You also have the option of praying over oil and transforming it from natural to holy oil.

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Mothers- Teachers and Influencers

The spiritual bond between a mother and her child can last a lifetime. Mothers nurture their children over the years and keep them on the right track. A well-known proverb states that God created mothers since He could not be everywhere.

A mother infuses her home and family with valuable lessons. She values the responsibility of ensuring that all her children get a good education and are aware of their spiritual obligations. The parental role that mothers play as well as the influence they have over their children is essential all over the world.

The mother is considered to be influential in terms of continuing life. Mothers begin nurturing lives in their wombs and this extends to the spiritual basis of how God assigns traits. Both father and mother are expected to play their spiritual and parental roles equally, but the mother continues to be the primary caretaker in her home.

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Best tours for the retired

By Sandra Hayward

The time after retirement is called a “second youth”. It is during these years, people can finally forget about the worries of work, deadlines, the mad career race and instead, devote time to themselves. Children have grown up, all one’s objectives have been achieved, but still a lot of strength and peace seems to reside inside. That is why the luxurious resorts and the most exotic corners of the globe are increasingly popular among older travelers.

A lot of older people have part-time jobs that may include freelance dissertation writing or seasonal jobs, and this contributes to additional revenue to spend. Most of these people choose traveling as an outlet for entertainment.

Besttours1

Very often the retired people go to Europe because it is the Old World that is ready to offer diverse opportunities like beaches, cultural activities, and getting there is not tedious or time-consuming.

Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.

European tours for seniors, when offered by a good agency, are different from the usual. First, they are a little more affordable, so they take into account the financial capacity of most older people. But it is important to note that the difference in price is achieved not by decreasing the quality of the trip or the accommodation. On the contrary, the best guides accompany travelers speaking in their native language. They pick the most elegant and comfortable hotels and create conditions for the retired, taking into account the abilities of people who are fully in their “golden age.”

Stays for seniors are usually arranged not in the peak season when the resorts full of noisy young people, but before or after the peak season when the weather is still good, but the tourist places are much quieter, and prices are falling. Destinations are also chosen very carefully. Preference is given to countries with a mild, pleasant climate, unique culture and a high quality of life. Mediterranean countries are known to elderly tourists for a long time now. But the mysterious and beautiful Portugal, Europe’s westernmost country, is not like any of its neighbors. Because of this it is becoming more and more popular.

Climate

The weather here in Portugal will always make you feel happy -there is neither sweltering heat nor cold, heavy rains that can ruin even a carefully planned vacation. Even on the coldest winter days, the temperature here rarely falls below 59 degrees Fahrenheit, and in the warmer months, the Atlantic coast of Portugal is a paradise…

Ecology

Portugal is still one of the most ecologically safe countries of Europe. There are clean beaches, pristine pine forests, clear air – perhaps precisely because of these natural resources, the Portuguese are considered long-lived.

Cuisine and Wine

Portuguese cuisine triggers an excellent state of health, in which virtually nothing is fatty or spicy. Portugal is famous for its organic products grown on farms. Such fruits and vegetables are often very expensive in many countries, but in Portugal they are sold at reasonable prices. On the coast, you can sample fresh seafood prepared according to traditional recipes. And, of course, not to mention the world-famous Portuguese port wine – a delicious wine that even doctors recognize as a useful one. In short, the “Portuguese” diet is as if specially created for those who are watching their health.

Spa

For the travelers, a variety of spas can be found in every corner of the country – in the luxury beach resorts, the mountain chalets and in hotels in Lisbon. Spas offer a variety of programs for healing and rejuvenation, relaxation procedures with the usage of sea water, massage with natural oils and many others.

Cultural heritage

But you should not think that Portugal is just another place for a beach holiday. In fact, there is a lot to see in the center of the country. Portugal has hundreds of castles, monasteries, and palaces. All are in excellent condition. The Portuguese are proud of their past and making a lot of effort for the conservation of these architectural masterpieces. Tours in Portugal for retirees are created so that travelers could fully enjoy the gentle sea, get acquainted with the rich cultural heritage of Portugal and at the same time walk along the Lisbon shopping areas to take home not only pleasant memories but also something more tangible.

Sea cruises offer a great opportunity for the retired to spend some time visiting lots of countries at once. However, there are both advantages and disadvantages to this type of traveling.

Cruising is a wonderful way to celebrate any occasion – from the New Year to an anniversary or perhaps a wedding.

A sea cruise can easily span several countries on one trip. Many cruise tours provide day trips to the cities, for shopping, museum seeing or dining.

A Cruise ship is like a city on a miniature island, where there are all kinds of entertainment activities and amenities are available. One advantage of taking a cruise is that the liner keeps you safe from such typical urban hassles like traffic jams, pollution, public transport and crowded streets. On the ship, you fully enjoy the quietness and magnificent sea views, but if you want entertainment, you can go to a disco, clubs, game rooms, bars or restaurants, or swim in the pool, or relax in the spa.

Cruises are often tailored taking into account every taste and budget. Do not think that cruise tours are just an exclusive way of traveling reserved only for rich people.  The market offers a wide selection, ranging from budget price category to a respectable expensive holiday. On the same ship, there are economy cabins, middle-class cabins, and deluxe-cabins. In addition, you will not need to pay for air flights to different countries.

Besttours2

There are a couple of downsides to cruising.

Though every day you will be surrounded by the sea, you will not be able to swim in the sea every day. Days of swimming and sunbathing on the beach will be those when the cruise ships moor in one of the ports. However, you can always indulge yourself in pool activities and sunbathing poolside.

Many times the cruise liner will only stop in port to a city only one day. If you want to concentrate only on one country, sea cruises are not the thing that you need.

Seasickness can be really unpredictable and unpleasant.

Overall, simply pay attention to all your health restrictions and go forward! Try cruising!

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Natural Ways to Address Chronic Pain

By Jane Brown

If you suffer from chronic pain, you know how illnesses like arthritis and fibromyalgia can disrupt virtually every aspect of life. Whether your pain is mild or severe, you’ve probably explored various treatment options, and you’ve likely experienced accompanied symptoms and side effects like depression, insomnia, anxiety and more. And while pain management drugs can be effective – and, in some cases, necessary – many chronic pain sufferers are looking for other, more natural ways to address symptoms and enhance quality of life.

Keep reading to discover how you, too, can reduce chronic pain symptoms, and, in the process, improve both physical and psychological health.

Reduce your cost of living. Pay less for medical care. Find better weather. Create a healthier way of life.

Drugs as a Last Resort

Pain management drugs are often used in the treatment of arthritis, nerve pain, migraine and other chronic illnesses. These drugs, when used properly, can reduce pain and improve mobility; however, many pain management drugs are associated with harmful side effects, some of which include nausea, weight gain, digestive issues and a high risk of abuse and addiction. For example, prescription narcotics like Vicodin and Opana may reduce pain, but are also highly addictive. It’s no wonder, then, that many chronic pain sufferers are looking for safer alternatives. If you prefer a natural remedy over a dangerous drug, talk to your doctor about your options, and use pain management drugs as a last resort.

Reducing Stress

Stress is a known trigger for chronic pain sufferers. Stress-relieving activities like the following can help prevent flareups and ease pain and discomfort.

Exercise

Exercise is a great way to relieve stress and tension. Plus, exercise can boost the body’s production of pain-relieving chemicals called endorphins, as well as enhance mood and improve quality of sleep. To prevent injury, stick to activities suited to your fitness level: walking, swimming, and other low-impact workouts are best.

Meditation

Center your mind, find your zen and bust stress with daily meditation. Find a quiet spot, close your eyes and try to clear your mind of noise. Though it may be difficult at first, meditation gets easier with time. Just remember to relax and focus on your breath, and you’ll start enjoying all the benefits this practice has to offer.

Massage

Massage can reduce both stress and the painful the symptoms of chronic conditions like migraine and fibromyalgia. Find a licensed practitioner in your area, and ask about techniques designed to address your specific needs.

Yoga

Known for its mind-body effects, yoga is like exercise and meditation in one. With regular practice, you can see improvements to balance, flexibility, strength and mobility while reducing stress and preventing painful flareups. Ask your doctor if yoga is right for you, and be sure to tell your instructor about your chronic pain condition so that he or she can offer safe modifications to poses and movements.

Chronic Pain and the Foods You Eat

Believe it or not, but diet can affect chronic pain conditions. Starches, sugars, trans fats and other unhealthy ingredients can lead to inflammation, which can trigger painful flareups, digestive problems, and other uncomfortable effects. A nutritious diet, on the other hand, can enhance digestion, reduce inflammation and improve how the body functions, overall. For optimal results, incorporate foods like the following into a balanced, healthy diet:

  • Leafy greens like kale, spinach, collards and chard.
  • Colorful fruits like pineapple, berries and oranges.
  • Root vegetables like turnips, radishes, onions and beets.
  • Healthy fats like the ones found in nuts, olive oil and avocados.
  • Lean proteins like chicken and fish. Red meat can be inflammatory, so enjoy it sparingly.

Though chronic pain conditions can be debilitating, you can find relief without the use of potentially harmful drugs. With the tips provided here, you can reduce pain, prevent flareups and improve your overall health and well-being.

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What to know about investing in real estate for retirement income

Hugh Swart is a real estate agent who has worked with several organizations and property developers. He conducts workshops for new investors in property and he is currently working with Downtown Apartment Company

There are few investments that can bring in as much profits as real estate investment can. During your retirement, you would want to have a supply of capital to sustain your daily needs because even though you won’t be working or handling any business, you would still need some money to sustain you; or if your plan for retirement is to travel the world, having a good supply of income will help so that you won’t depend on family, especially children, for support.

You can never be too early to start planning for your retirement, the earlier the better. You shouldn’t expect to only live off the pension you will be receiving. In your old age, you shouldn’t be subjected to budgeting just like when you were working. You should just be relaxing and enjoying the fruits of your labor. Real estate profits are one of the things you should be able to enjoy in your golden years. Land definitely appreciates and you can rest assured that the money you invest now will certainly make a lot of profits by the time you are retiring. So you should consider investing in real estate now. Here are some tips to help you invest in real estate:

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  1. Evaluate your goals.

It is important to get your numbers right in that you should calculate how much you are willing to invest in real estate and how much property you are interested in having. Doing this will help to formulate a plan on how much you expect to reap back from these investments and at what point in time. If you want to begin retirement as early as fifty five, then you will need to start planning and investing as early as even your mid-twenties.

  1. Buy around your local neighborhood.

It will be more convenient for you if you acquire property within your local neighborhood or very nearby to where you want to retire. There are some websites that can help you conveniently find out which available property is around you like http://www.downtownapartmentcompany.com/. Buying property within the vicinity of where you are going to retire will ensure that you will easily be able to maintain your property and keep watch to make sure everything is okay.

  1. Ensure that you have some cash reserved.

It is very crucial that you have some cash reserved just in case your house is not occupied for some period of time. You do not want to put all your eggs in one basket. Although you have resolved that real estate will be your main source of income, you need to have some capital to fall back on. There are also some maintenance issues that may need urgent attention when your house is not occupied, it will be very unfortunate if you have to wait for a tenant to reside in your property so that you have some money to do the repairs.

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Learn the Four Easiest Steps on How to Sell Your Home Quickly

Maggy Robertson is a Content Curator and an office staff member of BuyEveryHome.com in Atlanta, GA.

No matter what your reasons are for selling your home, you wouldn’t want it to stay too long in the market. It can be frustrating to wait day by day until someone decides to purchase your home. However in today’s market, it can be a challenge to sell your house if there are few buyers and more homes.

You don’t have to be so helpless with the selling process. You can take actions to sell your home fast and at the price that you want. Make sure that you do this before even deciding to sell your home.

Here are the four easy steps that you can take in order to sell your home fast:

sellinghome

Improve the curb appeal.

The exterior of your house is the first thing that potential buyers see. Look into changing and improving the landscape of your garden. Trim the bushes and make sure that the porch and driveway are clean. Add a fresh coat of paint to your home. Make necessary improvements to make your home look good and better than the other homes in the neighborhood. These changes must also compliment your home. Don’t make too drastic changes that will make your home look different from the interior or from its style. Make sure that you do your research and not over-improve your home. Look for the best improvements that you can invest in without spending too much. You can also ask for some advice from your agent or from friends on possible changes that you can do. Wow your potential buyers and let them see that your property is the best one in the market as of that moment.

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Improve your house’s interiors.

Aside from focusing on the exterior beauty of your home, you also need to create a livable and moving-in ready feel inside. Ensure that you remove the clutter first. You can also make upgrades to sell your home fast. A little remodeling project can add value to your home, as well. Small upgrades like changing the kitchen sink or the faucet will add up. Ensure that the plumbing and electronic fixtures are in working order and are in compliance with building codes. Check the appliances if these are in good condition. Fix whatever it is that is needed to be fixed so the buyer doesn’t have to spend money on these little things. Make your home ready for moving in just in case the potential buyer wants to enjoy the new home right away.

Give a sweet deal.

This trick is a good method in making your home more appealing. Add extra terms or things that will sweeten the deal. You can offer some credit towards the closing costs or a transferable home warranty that will also cover the home appliances for a year. Some home buyers are always on the lookout for deals so it’s best to give them one if you can. You can use this deal to motivate the buyer to close the deal faster than usual.

Price it competitively.

No matter how much renovation and upgrades you are doing for your home, it is a must to know what the prices are in the market. So before you do anything to your home, make sure that you know the value of your home. Look into how much similar homes in your area cost. Look at newspapers and check out other listings. To sell your home, you don’t really have to be the cheapest one, especially when you have made improvements in your home. Determine a fair price that will match your expenses and also make it more appealing to the potential buyer. Consult with friends and your real estate agent regarding a good price for your home.

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Some useful guidelines on how to recover fully from divorce

Stacy Brown is a family life expert. She has vast experience in dealing with the issues concerning the family. She is also well connected to several sources like Liaise Divorce where the process of divorce can be made easy and less strenuous emotionally. She can also be trusted to refer clients to reliable counselors.

Going through a divorce can be a very challenging, but take heart because there is a way to get through it and recover fully. Divorce has been likened to going through some kind of grief, because of the emotions that have been associated with it, especially if you are a mother. There are many ways of going through the full process without necessarily getting the full measure of damage that it may cause. There are also online sources such as Liaise Divorce which can make the total procedure of getting divorced much easier and faster so that the strain on the emotions is limited.

Generally, getting a divorce should be your last resort, and you should look for all avenues to resolve your issues before you finally choose to go through a divorce. However, if it does come to that, then the following tips will guide you on how to a make a full recovery as a mother and continue living your life to the fullest:

  1. a) Help yourself by forgiving.

Forgiving your former husband and letting go of all the hurt, bitterness and anger is a very important key to your full recovery. One of the worst things you can decide to do is to hold on to your hatred and refuse to forgive him. This will assure you of several years of pain and you will never be able to recover from your divorce, no matter how much counseling you go through. So make the intelligent decision to forgive right from the start of the process, it will take you miles ahead in the healing process.

Loosen your grip on routine

  1. b) Allow yourself to grieve in a healthy way.

You need to allow yourself the opportunity to have a grieving period, since you have lost your husband, it is a real loss. Do not suppress the feelings of grief because they will only get worse. Crying or sobbing during the season immediately after the divorce is healthy and should not be overlooked as long as you don’t do it for longer than usual.

  1. c) Talk to someone.

It has been said that once you share a problem with a trusted friend or a person, then you have actually halved it. This is true in terms of emotions. Sharing your feelings with a trusted counselor can be very therapeutic and you will feel lighter emotionally each time you have a counseling session.

  1. d) Do not live in denial.

It is very unwise to live in denial. Once you get a divorce and your husband moves on, then you also need to do your very best to accept the situation as it is and move on with your life. There are some women who refuse to accept the reality of the divorce, and they instead live in a make believe world where they expect a reconciliation with their former husband. This totally delays the pace of recovery and actually causes more pain because there is a false expectation of reconciliation that never happens.

With the above tips, you will be better equipped to deal with the pain of divorce.

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Looking for a Home Base

Q&A  with a Reader

Apparently we just missed your visit in Boquete. We rented in Valle Escondido for 5 months. I loved it, but my husband missed working on his classic cars and drag racing.

We are now considering an RV full time. I think you did that also. What advice do you have?

Also, I am interested in the location of where you keep a home base currently. What are  the advantages/disadvantages of that arrangement?

Thanks for your expertise and advice.

Dawn

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Hi Dawn,

Thanks for taking the time to write. We appreciate that!

Sorry we missed your visit in Boquete, Panama! We visited Valle Escondido several times. What a lovely community.

Yes, we owned a 5th wheel trailer and a 1 ton pickup for several years. We chose a trailer as opposed to having our home be attached to the motor in case there needed to be repairs to the motor, we would still have a home while we dropped the truck off. That may or may not be an issue with you, but we also were able to park the trailer and take the truck into town for groceries, instead of moving the whole RV in and out of town. Or perhaps we wanted to sight-see – we were able to take the truck individually instead of taking the whole rig.

If you still want a one-piece unit, you might consider other modes of transport like bicycles, a moped or towing your car to get you to and from the store for daily supplies or for getting around town.

If you will be living out of an RV, you will probably want a mail service to scan your mail electronically for you. You can then have the service send you your mail to your current location if you like, or shred your mail.

Take your time traveling. Fuel is a huge cost of RV living, and if you can stay in a location, receiving weekly or monthly rates, your transport costs won’t be supersized. Another way to spread out your costs would be to dry camp or to every once in a while, stay in a parking lot or on a neighborhood street.

You might consider reading a book on Fulltiming in an RV – they can be very helpful for all sorts of things you might not think of ahead of time.

We have several places that we consider to be home bases from which we travel, but the only location where we own something is in Arizona.  We enjoy having a Stateside address where we can receive important mail like credit cards – most of our mail is digital at this time, but receiving new credit cards are physical. Also, there might come a time where you need to receive a written check for something. Your mail forwarding service might be able to work this out for you.

Also, our place in the States still has some of our possessions like my grandmother’s china and my mother’s jewelry. Things like that.

I hope this information was useful to you – please feel free to write if you have other questions.

Best of luck. We loved RVing. It’s a great lifestyle and RVers are a very friendly group.

Stay in touch!

Akaisha and Billy

Thanks for your quick reply and thoughtful answers! You have some good points.

Where can you find such affordable housing in Arizona? The link showed a furnished modular unit for $7,000 ?! Where is this community?

Thanks again for your help and advice.

Dawn

Hi Dawn,

RE: a modular home/Park model unit – if you can make a purchase from a previous owner, this is where you will save thousands of dollars. Some communities and RV parks are now implementing an “age limit” to the units that are for sale, in an attempt to modernize the look of the community. Some communities still have the “vintage” units and those can be very affordable.

Two things you must keep in mind — one is if you purchase the property underneath your Park model or modular home, you will have to add a significant amount to the purchase price and be prepared for your insurance and property taxes to be higher than if you were to purchase the unit and lease the land from the community. A park model is considered to be a vehicle, as it can be moved from place to place and initially comes with wheels. This means that you pay a renewable license yearly equivalent to a vehicle license and your property taxes are in the low hundreds of dollars versus the thousands of dollars.

A modular home, on the other hand, is a “real” home and the insurance is figured differently.

The other thing, is that if you purchase used, rather than new, the units are generally fully furnished, down to cleaning supplies, sheets and cookware. The new units you will have to allow money to furnish them completely.

Many of these communities are Active Adult Communities or Snowbird communities. They are located virtually “everywhere” but most of them are in the sun belt of the U.S. including Calif., AZ, NM, TX and FL. If you Google “Active Adult Communities” they will list many to choose from. You could narrow your search to “Active Adult Communities TX” and only get the ones in Texas. Up to you.

The one you saw pictured in the article was in an RV park in AZ owned by Cal-Am.

Be sure to take your time in purchasing a unit. Make sure you like your neighbors, the shopping availability to you, the restaurants nearby, the activities offered by the community and very importantly, the weather.

Hope this helps.

Best to you,

Akaisha

Wow! All good information. It will take me some time to research this.  Thanks for taking the time to give me such a complete and thorough answer.

Dawn

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