Retire Early Lifestyle
Retirement; like your parents, but way cooler

In 1991 Billy and Akaisha Kaderli retired at the age of 38. Now, into their 4th decade of this financially independent lifestyle, they invite you to take advantage of their wisdom and experience.

Grocery Carts with Bent Wheels and Negative Thinking

Billy and Akaisha Kaderli

I’m sure you have had the experience of going to the grocery store and selecting a cart that - aggravatingly - has a bent wheel. Some of these carts have wheels that are horribly contorted, while others are angled just enough to be bothersome.

When you go down the grocery aisle and are mindlessly moving the cart as you wander, the cart will drag to one side or the other on its own. Unless you put both hands on the bar and consciously move the cart directly, it will simply keep dragging you with it in the direction IT wants to go.

Do you choose to return the cart and get another that is flowing freely or would you rather continue fighting the battle?

A real-life example

The other day after chatting with a girlfriend via email, I got to thinking. 

The manner in which she described her current housing situation was a lot like that grocery cart with a mind of its own.

Banging to one side of the aisle or the other, my girlfriend wanted her cart to flow easily down the row, but she didn’t have both hands on the cart bar controlling the direction in which it was going. And it was causing emotional havoc in her life.

Let me explain

In my musings, I was comparing our minds, how we think, the words we use and our perspective - to that grocery cart with the bent wheel.

Habits of thoughts and old perceptions, even old phrasing that we have used our whole lives drag us from one side of the aisle to the other.

When things in our lives are going well, this isn’t such a bother. But when we get hit with a big change, that kooky weaving back and forth can set us up for some emotional drama and a lack of peace.

For instance

My girlfriend, who recently lost her husband moved into an adult living community across town.

“Institutional living” is how she described it.

She said she was attempting to adjust and, in a disdainful manner, recounted how several people she met were “dragged” from their lives in another location and placed there in her community. They were not happy, but their children decided they could no longer live alone and needed to be closer to them and - that was that.

A different reality?

Later on, I perused online to find information about this “institution.” Was it really this bad?

I saw photos of swimming pools, hot tubs, work-out rooms, dancing rooms, card rooms, a beauty salon, a large spacious dining area with two walls of windows and sliding glass doors looking out to the community garden areas outside.

There were trained chefs who changed menus daily with fresh fruits, vegetables, meats and fish all included in the monthly pricing.

I saw social calendars, scheduled transportation to stores and doctor’s appointments and photos of individual apartments each offering an opening to a patio or garden area. Every apartment - whether it was a studio or 2 bedroom, 2 bath - had its own private kitchen in case you wanted some soup on a cold, rainy night, or a grilled cheese sandwich at 3 am.

Our definitions create our experience

My girlfriend’s grocery cart had a bent wheel on it that said “institution” and that was her perspective.

She couldn’t see the luxury she was living in with her two-bedroom, two bath apartment. Or how fortunate she was that she had the money to easily afford such a place.

This was nothing short of resort living, and I believe - if she was grabbing the cart bar consciously - she would be having a different experience.

How about you?

What event is happening in your surroundings where you are using old, unhelpful definitions to describe it?

Could you grab that grocery cart handle and move more smoothly down your aisle of Life?

Better yet, why even fight it at all?

Ask yourself: Am I seeing windows or walls?

Retire Early Lifestyle appeals to a different kind of person – the person who prizes their independence, values their time, and who doesn’t want to mindlessly follow the crowd.

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