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Retire Early
Lifestyle
Retirement; like your parents, but way cooler
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In 1991 Billy and Akaisha Kaderli retired at the age
of 38. Now, into their 4th decade of this
financially independent lifestyle, they invite you
to take advantage of their wisdom and experience. |
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Dating
after 60: Important Dos and Don'ts of Starting Over
Jeremy Hackman
Most people who date after sixty find that things have changed since their
earlier years. There are more options now. There are also more questions to
answer. Clear thinking helps people choose what suits them. Here is a clear look
at common dos and don’ts for dating at this stage, using simple facts and
careful advice.
Let Comfort Lead
Some people who return to the dating world after sixty feel pressure to do what
others expect. It may be helpful to stop and wait. Try to move at your own
speed. For example, if meeting in person feels too quick, suggest a phone call
first. There is nothing wrong with shortening a date or walking away if you feel
uneasy.
People should not ignore their own needs. If spending time alone feels right,
take a short break. Those who date after loss or after years with a partner move
at different speeds. It can help if people tell those they meet that they may
need time.
Finding Your Own Path: Relationship Choices After Sixty
People over sixty make new choices in many ways. Some try long-distance
relationships so they can keep their routines. Others look for companionship
without living together. There are those who give online dating a chance,
especially if they want to meet people outside their regular circle.
Others go back to
dating after a divorce, or after losing a partner, or even
after years focused on work or family. The reasons someone may start over vary,
and there is no one right way. The most important thing is making choices that
feel comfortable for where you are now.
On Meeting New People
There are several ways to meet people after sixty. Online dating sites are
common, but not the only way. Friends and family can give introductions. People
sometimes reconnect with someone from long ago. Community centers or shared
interest groups work for some. Each path comes with its own pace.
If
using online dating, keep personal contact details private until you know
someone better. Meet in a public place at first. Trust facts, not only words.
Before agreeing to meetings, search for the person’s full name, check public
pages, and see if details match.
Talking About the Past
Many people over sixty have strong histories. They may have lost a spouse, have
adult children, or carry old hurts. Some talk about these things in the first
meeting, while others wait. There is no set rule. It helps not to share too
much, too fast.
Ask
your date what they want to know, and share as much as feels safe to you. Open
talk can help later, especially if you keep seeing each other. You can mention
children or past partners in simple terms, but avoid going into deep stories
right away. Let comfort grow step by step.
Money and the Dating World After Sixty
Money matters more to many people at this age. Some have set incomes. Others
have large changes in wealth, either up or down. If you meet someone who talks
about money early on or asks you for help, take a step back. This is not common
or safe behavior.
It
is wise to pay for your own things at first and to meet in places that are not
tied to spending a lot. No one should ask you for help or favors after only a
couple of meetings. If this happens, tell someone you trust and stop seeing that
person right away.
Dos and Don’ts for Dating After Sixty
Dos
Do
take your time before agreeing to meet in person.
Do
keep your own habits and interests.
Do
trust your feelings if something does not seem right.
Do
choose safe meeting spots when you first get together.
Do
be honest about your life, likes, and dislikes.
Don’ts
Do
not share private details too soon, like how much you earn, where you live, or
your family plans.
Do
not ignore signs of pressure, like someone rushing you to meet or share more.
Do
not feel forced to share about the past if you are not ready.
Do
not let others decide what kind of relationship is best for you.
Family and Friends Matter
Support from people you know well can help you spot risks and stay calm. Share
your plans for dates with someone you trust. If someone in your close circle has
doubts about a new person, listen to their concerns before you take the next
step. Input from family can guide you when you feel unsure, but keep in mind
that you are the one who will make the call.
Managing Expectations
Some people who date after sixty will form a new partnership or deep friendship.
Others may meet people for dinner, walks, or shared interests without labels.
There is no set mark everyone has to meet. Early talks about plans and wants can
prevent mix-ups. You can say, “I like spending time together, but I’m not
looking to move in or marry right now,” if that’s how you feel.
It
is common to meet people with their own habits and family ties. Be clear with
your own goals and listen to theirs. People who talk openly, even when there are
differences, are likely to have clearer and safer experiences.
Closing Words
Dating after sixty means watching your pace, keeping your comfort in mind, and
using steps that fit your needs. Some will find a new partner, while others
enjoy seeing new faces without strong ties. Most stay safest when they listen to
themselves and move in ways that make sense for their own life. No two people
need to do things the same way. The only true rule is to follow what fits.
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About the Authors
Retire
Early Lifestyle appeals to a different
kind of person – the person who prizes their
independence, values their time, and who doesn’t
want to mindlessly follow the crowd.
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