Retire Early Lifestyle
Retirement; like your parents, but way cooler

In 1991 Billy and Akaisha Kaderli retired at the age of 38. Now, into their 4th decade of this financially independent lifestyle, they invite you to take advantage of their wisdom and experience.

I Want to Simplify and Travel - How can I get my partner on board?

Q&A from a Reader

Billy and Akaisha

I just came across an article about your decision to leave convention behind and really live.  I need help to convince my conventional husband that we can do the same thing. 

Can you help?

I will be looking into your books, but appreciate anything else you have for “ammunition”.  I am a free spirit that thought security was more important than anything.

We are both over 50 now and I have learned that we will do well in whatever we put our mind to.  My husband is cautious by nature and loves the idea but is afraid to step forward.

Help!

Thank you for your inspiration!

Rachel

The beach at Hoi An, Vietnam

Hi Rachel,

Thanks for taking the time to write, and for your interest in our website and books.

I am assuming you, as a couple, track your spending. Doing this will give you strong, logical reasoning when it comes to demonstrating financial sustainability to your husband once you leave the working world.   

We explain this very clearly in both of our books, The Adventurer’s Guide to Early Retirement, 5th Edition and Your Retirement Dream IS Possible.  

You will have control over your finances, and there will be no ugly surprises, which will build your confidence.

We also discuss the 4 categories of highest spending in any household — housing, transportation, taxes and food/entertainment. If you modify any or all of these categories, then you are able to “find extra money” to either spend elsewhere or to invest. 

Becoming skilled in these tools, you will discover personal freedom and your world will open up in ways you might not have considered before.

So you start there.

In Your Retirement Dream IS Possible, we discuss when partners have a different vision of retirement, and give suggestions on working those challenges out.

This is very important, and there is an answer for you.

Focus on what will make your spouse happy and what they are attracted to.

Partners often will fight the idea of early retirement or travel because they have questions that are not resolved or they feel threatened in one way or another (“You” want to travel “they” want to stay home. “You” want to work on being a pillar of the community, mentoring, using your expertise, “they” want to be a vagabond and let go of heavy responsibilities.)

Appeal to what they like, and work out a viable plan between you, where you both get what you want.

Pushing, or threatening or emotional blackmail doesn’t work. The partner entrenches their feet into the ground, and then you have a bigger problem.

You might take a look at our Retirement Issues Page as well as our Preferred Links Pages which address many issues of retirement, giving you options. Also, take a quick look at our Annual Spending Update which you will find useful.  

Feel free to write to us any time with your questions, as we are happy to help.

Again, thank you for writing.

Best Regards,

Akaisha and Billy

Retire Early Lifestyle appeals to a different kind of person – the person who prizes their independence, values their time, and who doesn’t want to mindlessly follow the crowd.

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