Retirement; like your parents, but way cooler
In 1991 Billy and Akaisha Kaderli retired at the age
of 38. Now, into their 4th decade of this
financially independent lifestyle, they invite you
to take advantage of their wisdom and experience.
One of the biggest
crises that we might
go through in life, among all of the death and taxes, is divorce. Separating from
someone you have professed to love for all time is not easy. You map out what
you want for your life and when that changes, you can’t imagine ever doing
anything else or being with anyone else.
That doesn't mean that you have to be
alone, but you do have to know how to cope and get through the separation and
all of the stress of dealing with a
child support lawyer and a divorce attorney.
It’s not easy. It’s not going to be pretty. You’re going to grieve the marriage
and the life you thought you’d have - and that will take time. So, with that in
mind, here are some tips on how to cope with separation.
Image source: Pexels
• Let it hurt. Divorce can feel like a death. It feels
like the death of all of the hopes and the dreams that you had for your life,
which means you have to get through it as if you are grieving someone who has
died. You have to give yourself the right time to process the emotions you're
feeling to heal from what's happened and to remind yourself that you do still
have a future and a life ahead of you. That can often be the hardest part
because remembering that you do have a life is important.
Surround yourself with support. You need a support group,
whether that's your friends, your family, or an actual support group for people
going through divorce if you want to get through it. Without the right support,
you're going to really struggle because you're going to be left by yourself to
stew on how you feel. You can consider professional help if you are truly
struggling to cope, but when you do that you're going to remind yourself that
you can get through this. It's just going to take some time. I suppose that's the
hardest part of going through a separation is that divorce is usually the
inevitability and you have to learn how to cope again.
• Don't forget about
self-care. More than ever, you need
to continue with your usual self-care and caring routines. Don't stop showering,
don't stop washing your hair, and don't stop brushing your teeth. Often people
going through a divorce will settle into that kind of a depression where they
neglect themselves, but this is the part where you need to start putting
yourself first for a change. Consider meditation and an exercise class to get
you out of the house and make sure that you are avoiding transfer addiction with
the person that you loved to alcohol or drugs.
• Get a great legal team
around you. From somebody
to help you with child support to somebody to get you through the fine details
of a divorce, you need a good legal team around you so that you don't feel so
About the Authors
Early Lifestyle appeals to a different
kind of person – the person who prizes their
independence, values their time, and who doesn’t
want to mindlessly follow the crowd.
Retire Early Lifestyle Blog
About Billy & Akaisha